Tuesday, March 22, 2011


As much as I love to eat and as much as I know how delicious fattening foods are, I have this extreme concern about my weight. Body weight scale has been my frenemy since I can't even remember when. If it shows that I lose weight, it's my friend. But when it shows that I gain some weight, well, I always feel like I'm betrayed and I just want to throw it away.

I came from a family where all of the members are not skinny (I chose not to use 'FAT' word). Moreover, I have a mom who loves to choke me with foods, no wonder I was once 105 kgs (230 lbs).

Yes, I were fat.
My followers on twitter must have been really sick of my complaints about my weight. I always want too be skinner, and skinnier.
The thing is, I was once 105kgs. I know how it feels to be fat. I know how hurt it does when people call you with some label, instead of calling you with your name. People looked at me as if i were a gorilla, and it did hurt.
The fact that I have lost more than 20kgs makes me don't wanna fall to the same hole ever again. I don't wanna be fat ever again. Guess what, most of my friends are on diet, they always think that they're fat.

Seeing so many people so friggin desperate about their weight, I came to a conclution that NOBODY in this world wants to be fat. Nobody.

Those super skinny people might want to put on some weight, but they surely do NOT wanna be fat. Why? Why people don't wanna be fat? Why are people so afraid of being fat? Does by being fat make you look ugly? Does by being skinny make you good looking? Would people prefer to be super skinny than to be overweight? Do people treat fat people differently?

Is it just us? Are we afraid of being ugly because we are fat? Are we afraid of being fat because people treat fat people badly?
Or is it them?
Do people out there really think fat people ugly and skiny people are better looking? Would they really choose skiny people over fat people? Would they appreciate us more if we're not fat?

So many questions? Oh well...

What I don't understand the most is those who use 'healthy life' as an excuse for 'not wanting to be fat'.
A : "Are you on diet? You only eat once a day, and all you have is salad.."
B : "What? Diet? Ah, no, I'm just living a healthy life!"
A : "Oh, okay. Just asking, do you want to be a little fat but healthy?"
B : "Hell no!"
A : "..."

Or they use 'happiness and enjoy life to the max' alibi...
A : "I don't fuckin care, I eat anything I want to eat! I only live my life once, I want to enjoy my life to the max. And by eating, I enjoy my life."
B : "Ohh... Okay."
*2 weeks later*
A : "Ohhh!!! FUCK I AM SO FAT! Ohhh... What to do!!!"

Speaking of enjoying my life to the max, I personally think that by eating anything I want doesn't mean that I enjoy my life. If I eat anything I want, then I get fatter, well, I wouldn't be able to enjoy my life anyway, no?

To strengthen my opinion that nobody wants to be fat, I ask a few friends of mine who are now struggling with their body weight.

A : 74kgs/169cm
B : 48kgs/163cm
C : *undetected*
D : 65kgs/168

1) Do you think you are fat?
A : *nod with a depressed facial expression*
B : *nod with a depressed facial expression*
C : *nod with a forced smile*
D : Yes

2) Why you don't wanna be fat?
A : Because it's hard to find clothes that fit me.
B : Because fat is not beautiful.
C : Because I think that I would be prettier if I were slimmer.
D : No good clothes for fat people.

3) So you guys think that if you are fat, then you are not good looking?
A : Not always. But... Well, it's not about beautiful or not, it's more of whether I'm comfortable with my own body or not!
B : No! Unsophisticated.
C : Yes!
D : Yes?? Hahaha..

Well, the conclusion of this post is... Well, actually no conclusion. Us, fat people just want to be treated the same way as those "non-fat" people are treated. We want to be taken seriously. We want to know how it feels to be good-looking eventhough we are not skinny.

Us, fat people are sick of being mocked because we are fat. We are sick of getting laughed by people we don't even know. We are tired of being rejected just because how we look like. We want people to know that it hurts not to be able to wear clothes or a pair of jeans that we like, because they don't have our size. We don't want people to call us, "Dud", or "Ndud" or whatever they call us with.
We want people to throw away the stereotype that says fat people are ugly and skinny people are better.

And why do people find it so hard to realize that fat people also have feelings?

p/s : you guys know Isabelle Caro and Crystal Renn? CLick the pics below to know who they are.



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