Sunday, November 14, 2010

I'M A BIG FAT LIAR..!!

It's 01:00 in the morning, and I have to wake up in 6 hours to get ready for Church, but something got into my mind, and I can't be bothered to blog about it. I hope I won't nod off in the middle of the mass. Amen to that.

One o'clock in the morning, I just want to say that, well, I hereby admit that I am such a BIG FAT LIAR. Yes, I am a liar. I've lied many times. I've lied to many people, including myself sometimes. I have lied, I lie, and I will keep lying.
I am a liar. We all are.

Lying has been my heinous habit since I can't even remember when. But, eventhough I am a professional liar, sometimes I do feel bad after doing that sin (yes, lying is a sin, remember? Just like watching porn, commiting suicide, assassination, shoplifting, or toddler raping). There is this feeling like, "Shit, why did I do that? Why did I lie? I should have just told the truth! Why? Why?" afterwards.

Yes, why?

Why do people lie? Why do people hide the truth and cover it with good beautiful lies? Why can't we just be honest about anything and face what we're supposed to face?

Just because I am an exquisite liar, I have some theories. Well, based on my experiences.

We lie because we want others to like us, we want others to love us. And by lying, telling them what they want to be told, we think they will like, or even love us. We lie because we are afraid that people we love won't accept us if we tell the truth, we are afraid not to be accepeted and loved. And on the other hand, sometimes, we lie because we just don't want to be hated. We are afraid that if we tell the truth, others will hate us. We already know in the first place that if they find out the truth, they will hate us as well, but we'd prefer lie and pray so that they won't find out the truth, than tell them the truth itself. Complicated and weird, yet true, right? Well there's no such thing as white lies. I don't believe in white lies.

Some of us lie because we have a huge ego. We lie simply because we want to be happy. We want to get what we can't get because reality sucks, so by making it up, we hope reality would change and get better. In fact, reality never gets better and reality sucks forever for those who thinks lie could make it better.

Secret, sometimes, can also be the root of all amazing lies, I meant, amazing bigger problems.

"This is why I hate secrets. Because they turn into lies, which are much worse.."
- Betty Suarez on Ugly Betty -

To hide something, we have to cover it with something else. And in this kind of situation, we all know that lie, surely has its power.


Like I've said it before, I am a liar. I've lied to many people, many times. Sometimes I feel bad after doing it, sometimes I don't. We all are Pinocchio. Well, I am just grateful my nose doesn't get a boner everytime I tell a lie. What distinguish us with that ugly little wooden toy is that he always realizes that something bad will surely happen everytime he tells a lie, he knows lying is not a good thing and he learns from it, while us, sometimes forget that. Sometimes I don't even realize that lying is a sin. I am sure you don't either. And no matter how much we know that lying is not a good thing, we keep on telling lies to people.

Every human being lies. I believe that. It is so sad you know, lying to people you love. It is so sad to be in a position where you have to lie. But we can't help ourselves. We can't stop telling lies. Because as long as we breathe, we will always lie.

And so through this post, I would like to apologize profusely to everybody, to strangers, my friends, my family, and lest I forget, myself, for being such a big fat ugly liar.

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1 comment:

Elvina Febriani said...

lol that pic is awesome